I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
