Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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