ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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