i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize