He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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