yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
