Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize