Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
