Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
