Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
