it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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