Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
