I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
