Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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