I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
