Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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