My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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