I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
