If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
