I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
