we're blogging at a bar
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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