you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
