WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
