found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize