does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
