my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
