i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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