Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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