There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
