come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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