i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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