waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
