dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
