he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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