capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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