Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
