he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
