5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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