Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
