i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
