He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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