Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
