I didn't shave. On purpose
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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