I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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