How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize