I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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