Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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