..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
