I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
