Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
