called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
