She's JV to your varsity
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
God, I missed his penis.
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