Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
