there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
