i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
