I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
