It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
