I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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