): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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