Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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